Unless the God of Creation had mercy… all flesh would wiped out… repeatedly
Save us oh Lord…save us from moral decadence from invaders from parasites and from ourselves
what do people want from me? what can I give you??
when the war strikes… what will happen to the women, children, maimed, mentally sick and disabled??
if my side loses the war… I want you to kill me… I dont wanna live in a jew controlled geneocide of my race
ya know… I hare war… I honestly thought there was a chance we could avoid it!! FOOL!!!! I dont have the haeart to hurt people… I dont even wanna shoot someone in paintball let alone with a real gun… I. know im a wuss.. I just hate hurting people… I wish I could be mroe help… but all I do is write this stupid love poetry
here’s a little of what I wrote about what I want in a woman.. here you see I still wanna worship God (forgive me Lord)
I need a woman that takes the hatred I have of myself and fills it with love. Someone who can take the mistrust I have of mankind and give me someone to trust. A woman who can take the weight off all the pain the eyes have seen and fill it with light and beauty. Who can mend this heart of sorrow and bring laughter. Who can ease my troubled mind with stability. Who will love me despite me, and always have my back. Someone who isn’t afraid to calll me out when I’m wrong, but humble enough to listen when I correct. Whose love has depth and whose patience is long-suffering. Thank you God, for answering my prayers. Let us love you with all of our heart strength and mind. Thy will be done, as earth as it is in heaven.
Merry Christmas Mary Jane !!!! I hope you like gifts cause I got you some… wish I was with you….you understand how much I love you do you? I find that hard to believe …but then again id never thought an angel was my soul mate … does that make me divine??? being with the divine reflects its rays on you right?
the thought of you
keeps me going
day day day im reminded
just knowing you’re out there
fills me with hope
I dont wanna live
not without you
but with you
aye I could live forever
with you by my side
this burning hole
in my heart
aches and tears
my heart needs a home
and it only fits with yours
I hope you have a white Christmas with only white people!!!! restore American God!!!
if im wealthy and they say I have to get rid of my businesses for conflict of interests if im a politician ill force them to show how they got so rich worth multimillions on a legislature salary!
woman help me restore my faith!! Brin me back to Christ… Christ suffered for all so He deserved to be worshipped!!!
what good is the strength of men
if they don’t protect women?
what good is masculinity
without femininity to compliment
what good is logic and rationality of men
without women’s complexity
what good is mens hard work
without providing for more than just himself
what good is mans romance
without lovers to intake it
want good is a mans legacy
without his seed and the seed-bearer
what good is leadership
without a woman to impress and obey
what good are mens eyes
without a woman beauty to behold
what good is a loving heart
without one to love and cherish
what good is a mans memory
without anniversaries and birthdays of her
dear woman…
How was your Christmas ??? I love my family… I feel bad I called them a cult and talk down on them sometimes… well…mostly… sometimes some of them drive me crazy but I love them… I hope you have a great family!!! DO they love you??? Did they give you a good Christmas time? or Did you give them a good Christmas?? cause your the star of the show…. I noticed I get quite in big groups… I get quiet in conversation too… sometimes I wish I could just sit and listen to someone interesting and jsut follow along so I didnt have to talk… are you good at conversation?? Id loveto hear your story naad just interjec twiht questions…. caue I think my brains got destryoed as a kid bu falling down the stairs. so I hard to talk and easeir to write … I dunno. when im in pain I just think of you and it gets me through!!!! I still feel guilty im nota v ery good Christian… im just so confuesed about everything… I mean how can an arch angel be my soul mate??? my heart fell so far for oyu!!! could the perfect partner be a hgigher power????? WHO AM I?? are women more jealous of you or men more jealous of me?? and if I ever let you down… dont let me!!!! I dont wanna fail you or break your herat or forget you or negelct you or anything!!!! If I ever hurt you itll be like hurtin myself- the best part of myself. I wihs hter were better words to explian hwo much I love you!!! Lagnuage is too limited for expression!!! how can I suffer more just so you can see my love for you???Would that get teh point across??? I LOVE YOU
JOSHY
YOUR ONE AND ONLY
JOSHY
why dotn you care about my soul mate you animals and freaks?? THE CORRECT ANSWER WAS THEY WERE JEALOUS OF ME. because shes so wonderful… why dont tehy care about you woman?? DO they not see your worth??/ ILL rEPAy YOU ALL THEIR JEALOUSY. Ill make you happier than the rest of them combined… if you are worthy and have proven yourself why do they care so much??? AT least you have God on your side right????
glorious woman from heaven,
the one who belongs to me
Im gonna apologize ahead of time to her…. I feel bad eventually (maybe soon) your gonna have to play the role of therapist… im sorry… sometimes I just need to talk about the pain or struggle.. I may breakdown… or be late at night in extreme pain (ill try not to but it gets hard at times) … I know I said I never watnetd you to see e cry (its true) but im too emotional… I used to cry all the time to the point i prayed hard God would help me stop crying… and I get emotional and in deep pain and guilt and sometimes I just need to let It out…Id understand if you didnt wanna be around me then…but honestly id be nice to have a friend to confide with… il try not to make it all the time… unless you wanna come to my therapist session and hear me talk about myself;) jk jk jk… its kinda boring… and I mostly talk about you woman… my dream…being with you…finding you…. theres gonna be things you dont wanna hear I tell you… forgive me… I just need you to listen sometimes…it doesnt matter what you say as Long as its done in love… you could tell me im a horrible person but forgive me and id feel better… lol… all this time I wanted to be the one comforting you!!! I wanted to hear alll your problems… be your therapist… comfort you in sorrow… give you a huge hug as you cry on my shoulder…but I honestly… I desire someone that loves me enough that they wanna do that for me… im sorry
I still love you
I hope you still love me
your man
I still get depressed (thats how I feel) from time to time… but honestly I havnt had deep depression in a long time!!! THANK YOU!!! Thats when its feels like it physical hurts … like nothing matters… like I cant feel emotions but emptyness darkness and void… thank you I haven’t been that bad in a very long time…. ive got other issues …. pray my ankle get better its been sore over. a week….
your gonna have to be there through all my pains all my aches all my struggles… it might not be a wonderful life for you… are you sure you wanna be with em ??? I just want good things for you!! And with my illness I might struggle and I might get quiet and boring … but I promise ill love you with everythign ive got!!! I know you still wnat me… I jsut feel bad I have to go through all this for your sake!! I wish I could suffer everything even worse and all my hardships before I met you so you didnt have to witness the horror or be dragged down by it all!!!! I feel guilty like I force you into pain on my amount… I know this sounds stupid but I want great things for you!! want you to get my very best In every way!! adn youve already suffered enough coming down as a woman … it musta been hell… but I love you so terribly it hurts not being with you!!! LOVE YOU
you know soul mate…. im not very great… or very good… im kinda a racist pos.. anti christian even…. the Bible says Moses had a wife from another nation… that ruth was an outsider…. and I still hate mixed marriage… vehemently… Gods gonna rebuke me on judgemten day…. forgive me Lord… I just dont agree wiht you GOd… I dotn think race mixing is a good thing.. tehy always prefer there non white race…. almost every single time….. and im sorry Lord I want an all white nation… forgive me…itw was my dream… and I was hoping it was yours… but if you dotn want that… help me to change I guess… just want an all white nation so badly… think of the wonders and creativity….. the music and the sports by white peopele !! you could cheer for oyur own race!!! but ill be honest my brother owned me… hes right…. I just kinda hate the bible now… forgive me soul mate… Gabriel if you told me you wanted balks and jews here id listen to you… im sorry you got stuck wiht me… does anything I say make sense? That different races always prefer their race, always abide by their culutre and their religion almost always anyway…. so tehy can never be equal in citizenship??? Does taht make sense??? or is it hared??? Forgive me for making my race an idol Lord… I just didnt want them to pass away…. im not a good debater ,,, I got owned… but I still feel like im right somehow … I just .. maybe im wrong…. its just my logic makes sense to me … does I t to anyone lelse????
thats the one they always pulll… there is neither jew nor greek and all races go to the same heaven…. I wonder what its like up there… is each race separated to their race? I mean they can still visit orthers.. but is each race grouped together??
please correct me if im wrong God
im sorry im a racist Gabriel… I just wanted what was best for my nation and people… apparently thats wrong
I hate how easily the Bible can be manipulated… salvery being good (Paul never says to get rid of it!!)) the divine right of kings ( alot of them said it scriptural) people sayin communism is the way Jesus wanted things (early church shared everything)…and now diversity and race mixing… because we are supposed to love everyone…. there is neither jew nor greek…Moses had a foreign wife…ruth was a foreign daughter…so much twisting of scripture….
the Bible says
the preacher said
love your enemy
so he killed me
the Bible says
the preacher said
turn the other cheek
so I lost my house
the Bible says
the preacher said
obey the government
so i lost all my rights
and lived in a totalitarian society
the bible says
the preacher says
their Is neither jew nor greek
so neither was there white anymore
PLEASE SHOW ME IF IM WRONG GOD!!!!
do you think im full of hate??
is a republic in the Bible? its not scriptural than… I hate when people misinterpret the Bible cause its what theyve been taught… seriously in heaven do all the races ust live together?? As one people?? or does He separate them by nation … Matthew 25 32 does that mean H esperates teh nations ro the Christians??? I think both…. but I know everyone who’ll deem me a heretic
I wonder if church people hate me….
its hard to think of myself of a great man… I dont do anything remarkable… I dotn have a lot fo money or a fancy job… or a dream girl… I struggle day to day…. Im still confused about so much… I work a normal job adn live with ym parents… im not a great talker im not a quick thinker…. I just dunno about myslef… God help me to do the will of the Father
why do the enemies
want me to perish
but rather
why do the friends
wish me to fall?
why do the friends
abandon me
but rather
why do some
stand by during fire
why do I seem so alone
with no one there
but rather
why do so many
seem to care
about a wandering soul like mine?
I thought they’d all hate me
condemn me
crucify me
send to the prisons
but they didnt
why?
I thought they’d see me as a threat
a man who speaks his mind
not caring about
being right in another
just that he can speak his mind
no one came
They must at least agree
with some of my words
or at least be willing to defend it
the ability to speak your mind
whatever the case
thanks for not hating me
I still love you
even if we go thru war
blood everywhere
violence amok
terrible fates in the balance
id still love you
id still love you
even if a better woman came by
superior to you in beauty
id say she doesnt belong to me
never knew her never wanted her
besides my woman got a better soul
ill still love you
id still love you
even if I lost my mind again
id remember you as my only
id be in pain for everything but you
harkening to you my love
id still love you
id still love you
if you got old and aged
even if you looked worn
without that outward beauty
id remember our time together in bliss
id still love you
why do we challenge ourselves
they took the challenge
they climbed teh mountain
some mocked saying why?
but they’ll never understand
the sense of accomplishment
the wonder of standing tall
above all of creation looking down
they fought the battle
the war of the soul
they became better men
better soldiers against their
wicked instinct that pushes them
towards beast and away from human
they won her over
each to their own
the girl of their dreams
waiting for them in virtue
making their whole life change
with the joys and splendor
that only beautiful souls can reach together
a day in the life of the average adult
why do we push ourselves
to new limits day by day
we grind not to thrive
we grind to survive
getting by is a challenge
why do sacrifice
our dreams hope and desires
we were once young and hopeful
but life crushes you down
leaving you with emptiness and pain
why do we still hope
still dreams of tomorrow
things get better
we have to believe that
without that spark of light
we are a pitiful forlorn race
we live we die , everyone
youre born
with love life enthusiasm
you love new things
you want to learn
your to exited to dream of tomorrow
because today is filled with so much
you grow
you gradually get bored
you rapidly lose interest
about as fast as you gained it
you dream of a better everything
looking forward to tomorrow
youve grown
you dont have the energy you used to
you reminisce about the excitement of yesteryear
you dream of reliving your glory days
you wish you could do the things you used to
alas it went by too quick; only memories remain
but what a gift life was !!!! Thank the Creator
to those who seek glory worship and praise
Those who seek glory
what good does that get you
in reality?
some think your good at something
they praise you not for you
but for your accolades
if another raises above
you’ll be forgotten
those who seek worship
what good is it?
are you are deity?
is that what you want?
the same people that worship you today…
will burn your house tomorrow
they dont care about your soul
they care about the latest greatest
why do some people seek praise
praise after all is fleeting
it comes and goes like the wind
and they will criticize just as fast
why seek the praise of man
when you could have the camaraderie
of another soul that actually cares from the heart
loyalty/love/love of loyalty
a friend will stand by you
a better friend will die before you
leaving it all behind
as he smiles seeing you safe from harm
a lover has you
a better lover has no other
eagerly awaiting you
as the joy of her life
a son listens to you
a better son obeys you
trying to do teh will of his father
outta pure love for him
dearests woman…
im still crazy boutcha 😉
love,
your man
dear Mary Jane Watson,
I love you more than pain can inflict more than hardship can challenge more than suffering can dish out… I wish I could let you know just how much you mean to me… but words cant express than intense and passionate of an emotion…. I feel like its not fair to you cause you gotta read all my stuff but you cant speak or convey your own words or feelings. You have no idea how excited I am to meet you!!! I dont know how im gonna know its you…. but I trust something or youll convince me. How did you know about me?? I mean how did you trust and know id be the one?? you must be psychic or something!!!! I think you were made for me… and I for you… thats what we all wanna believe… until we meet and we’re imperfect….. I dunno if I buy into the hype ive created… I mean I do… but im still nervous ill let you down or not be wha you envisioned or we dont click well… I hope thats not true but humans are just so complex… I mean everyone is unique and different and has to connect to another in a way. Sbout beliefs or conversation or hobbies or debates or something. And what do we have… each other? I hope we share some belief set. t hat we share oalto of connections so our conversations and banter and verbal love jabs never end. I want you to make fun of me if its sincerre and funny. Call me a baby a sissy or a wuss. Just do it in love and not with Venom. Unless its not like you to tease. But I dont maind banter or verbal jabs if there done with purity. or you coudl ust joke aroidn in other ways. I jus twnat laugh and fun adn exitemtn and life. I want to enjoy life with oyu… and theres times for seriousness or depth but there needs to be laughter and silliness too…
I dunno maybe im overthinking things
love your man
ps cant wait to see you… hopefully before enext summer
pss as a man I need to be the funny one… pray for me;)
one rose has no thorn
every rose has a thorn
is what they say
but they haven’t met my love
shes complete rose without any thorn
beauty without flaw
shes flawless
nobodies ever seen the perfect diamond
its beyond belief
well wait till you see my love
she has no imperfection
shining forth as the sun
she impeccable
all humans are flawed
everyone unique in there imperfection
but my love, my one of a kind love
shes more pure than the purest water
and doesn’t know how to wrong
shes perfect
dear woman
what am I suppose to do?? I feel l ike im letting you down…. like im failing you… how do i find you? how do I get to you?? im so busy with my life and im in recovery mode … I wish I coudla ran away with you… if I dint have medicine and court cases and such…how do I look for you? I know nothing… I told my coworker that I was in love with an angel… a literal female heavenly being. she just ignored me… even I still dotn know howit works exactly….anyway… pray to God aht I meet you in the right time
I feel like im a born lover
like I has so much love to give
but what good is all that bundled up
without a women worthy of it?
I wanna pour it on your soul
I wanna love you with all ive got
my time and presence
my goofs and gaffes
my attention and dedication
I won’t you to experience the depth of love
I have for you and only you
I feel like im a natural giver
giver of time words gifts
but without someone special
someone I really wanna give too
those gifts are futile
I wanna give you my everything
my heart and its tenderness
my mind and its depth
my soul and its love
I want you to have all of me
I wanna be with you forever
when I say forever I mean It
when your old
if you ever get fat
I always want you by my side
I want to be hundred percent loyal
through any trouble pain or trial
to see you through the dark times
to be by your side after millennia
loving you in perfect harmony
I suppose al these pomes only count if shes as amazing as I hope… if she doesnt play around or abuse me or lose her love for me …. its so delicate I shouldn’t be writing these poems … but I have so much faith in her brilliance and inward beauty im confident inwriting over the top poems like this.
yesterday was history todays the new history
ITs a new year
a time to be renewed
you are not the same person
you were last year
shine brighter stand taller play harder
its a new year
its a chance to
metamorphosis
into something more
deeper wiser and equipped for war
its a new year
let yesterday stay yesterday
go farther reach higher dig deeper
until you become
the dream you hoped for
I wish I actually put effort into my poems… I bet if I carefully crafteed my poetry and editted them and wrestled over them I coudl write poetry to compare to the greats… as is its okay….. but it could be so much better!!!!!!! I just kinda throw them together naturally with little effort !!!! If I only had dedication and put out more effort foreward…
If I could express my love with poetry
I would never run out of poems
my material would be a bountiful
as your beautiful soul
and your breathtaking body
inventing new ways to say “I love you”
if I could express my love with gifts
I would buy you the priceless jewels
bake and cook your favorite foods
learn craftsmanship just to amaze you
but most of all
id give you all the time I could muster
if I could express my love with sacrifice
id give up my favorite hobbies just to spend time
id work multiple Jobs to provide
id kill alll relationships with women
yet nothing would be a sacrifice
because id rather be with you
no matter the cost your worth it
what are you getting with me?
ill give you so much
ill give you my time until you get bored with me
ill give you my jokes until you get tired of them
ill give you my assistance until I cant help you
my commitment my loyalty until time stops
my heart my mind until the worms eat it
my depth of soul from my soul will light you up and give you meaning and depth until your a different person from all the love
my words of comfort and and cheer until you cant smile
my gifts of chocolates and foods I’ll cook/bake you until your stuffed
my gifs of flowers wtih meaning an purpose so I can say everytime “but theyre not as beautiful as you;)” until your last breath
my gifts of events going places visiting new areas exploring until we’ve seen it all
my gift (Gods gift?)of walks… is it just me or is there no better time to talk to those you love than on a walk? id go everyday with you if youd let me until you cant
my gifts of poetry and writing…. ill try to write you good ones….. until you get annoyed with them
my body to use as you see fit… until you just wanna lay there outta exhaustion;)
my money to spend as you see fit cause I trust you with all of it to be responsible…. until you dont need or want anytign anymore
srry hat was kind dumb… I thought I was gonna write a poem but I just kinda went off script. I didn’t mean to brag I just wanted to write my love for her …. did nt come out great…. but I just want her to knwo I love her… and I feel bad I cant really write out my love into words as deeply as id like… I wish I couold speak a deeper language
I CANT WAIT TO GIVE YOU MY GIFTS FOR YOU!!!!! I WISH I KNEW YOUR ADRESS OR HAD A WAY TO GET THEM TO YOU!!!!
Forgive me God… but this soul mate has given me more satisfaction and joy just imagining about her than I felt following you…. im a terrible heretic…. I wish I could not love her as much but I just have such a deep feeling for her… I love her more than my Creator!!! Im a wretched human being….if there any chance to save me from jusgment save me !!!! Yet if im doomed…. let her fly her wings in heaven at least!!!
I give you all of me
my legs for walking with
my arms for hugs
my lips for kissing
my mouth for conversation
my funny bone for jokes;)
my ankles for flexibility
my elbows for space for just us two
my hands for touching you creating ecstasy
my feet for dance ( I wanna learn to slow dance just for you)
my shoulders to cry on
my waist for comfort
my gut for all the punches of frustrations
my fingers for poetry
my head to rule as a servant leader
my mind as a wonderland waiting for you to explore it
my eyes so you have a man to look good for
my ears to listen to you about anything
my heart to match the beauty of yours
and my penis so I can give you off the charts orgasms (im gonna fucking try to make it as enjoyable as you can fucking get (when were married)
dear woman … I ehar the craziest thing… that everyone wants to be with me… im just afraid that if im with everyone every part of me will want you!!! Id comapre them to you and talk about you and tell them about your ey4es and red hair and brag about your personality and virtues and annoy my woamn im with by talking about you!!!!!!!!!!ANd if you were with everyone id be insanely jealous and make them give me report cards and act olike your dad towards them and swear that if they Hurt you or dont treat you right or dont treat you like a queen and do everything above exceptional for you id make them pay!!! I just want one complte optiaml version and you and me togther forever!!! Well I dont know how it works.. maybe one angle form and one human form for each of us??? I dunoo how that works… bu t I know im crazy about you and once im eet you its gonna be hard to look at anyone else teh same !!!! I LOVE YOU MADLY
so youd be jealous of them eh?? me too.
I wnat you with me and no one else
here’s a question I have: are people in heaven able to watch my whole life and see whaat happened?? and can they read my mind during it?? Just curious
btw its kinda boring… just read the book
if we’re so great… what are the rest of people gonna do?? I want them to have great happiness and enjoy eternity forever !!! It is paradise after all!!!! And not just for the most desirable…..
so your saying st Michael had no idea I went through all that even tho hes the keeper of souls? I know I kept alot inside… but was it that hard to tell????
NO one in heaven had any clue?
what about Gabriel??
what was so unbelievable??
was it cause I was so “brillaint” (eye roll) that people think I made it up?
I want everyone to know I wrote from the depth of my heart… because I wanted to help people
I guess I still haven’t read it myself … Is it a good read?? Kinda joking but seriously…. is it a good read?
so It was me
all alone
I had some friends
but not that friend
that one of a kind
only room for one of her
kinda friend
the irreplaceable
I still haven’t found you
but I feel a connection
between two souls in perfect harmony
a bond deeper than God
call me a heretic
but not even God
feels this close to me
forgive me Almighty
pros and cons list of my soul mate with me (pros) vs Jesus (cons)
pros : I can write
cons: JEus invented writing
pros: I love her
cons: Jesus literally suffered the wrath of God for her
pros: I make poormises
cons: Jesus always fulifils His promises
pros: I buy good gifts
cons: Jesus can litterally create anything for her plus the Holy Spirit
pros: I can bake/cook
cons: Jesus can get HIs angels to cook/bake better food
pros: Im her servant
cons: Jesus is a better servant: HE can do miracles and make her happy
pros: Im (hopefully) good in bed
cons: Jesus can probably give her orgasmis beyond belief (can you do this for her when I marry her and have sex??? I mean make her experience beyond amazing?? I want her exremely happy)
pros: I can listen well
cons: Jesus can even read her minds!! HE created her so HE knows everything!!
that was a joke… but seriously… I hope im good enough for you!!!
in all seriousness… wonder if God asked HIs angels for input when He created Things…. or if He already knew everything
is there something I can do to help my soul mate??? to solve her problems? I feel so selfish… like all I want is my desires: her. her time affection love energy motherhood of our kids kisses conversations letters everything…..im so caugth up in what I want I dont care about her situation….. I dont know what shes going through or what she needs or even waht she wants… I only want what’s best for her… if me being a-part from her is the best thing for her I won’t pursue her… God can you please intervene and save her from hardship?? God if im not allowed to have sex with her thats fine!!! Ill just go childlless… I just dont want her life to be hell because of me
if Lucifer lied… if hes against me and Gabriel… like he was against Jesus… maybe there has to be a hell huh?? Why do you hate life Lucifer? What is your endgame? Do you just enjoy making souls suffer? I dont understand why some people just wanna watch the world burn
i want Lucifer to know I willl find no pleasure watching him burn… even after all his heinous acts
Lord if I was an angel id be uslesss… my speech is slurred an muffled and comes out all contorted… im not a great communicator ….and im not a warrior !!! I hate violence !!!! I dont wantna hurt evil people!!! the only time would be to protect others!!! Even then I dont like getting onvoled unless I have to and can make a difference!!! I dont know how st Michael fights so valiantly!!! I dont wanna hurt any soul good or bad…
I suppose if you commanded me id listen Lord…I still see you as Creator and me as creation… I don’t want be greater than you God!!! I want you to be there to comofrt me to consul me to guide me to teach me!!! I wanna believe taht all things are possible with you!! I wanna trust that you can heal me that I can beat anything even my hypersexuaolity and if oyur willing that you could take away my mentil illness (its okay if you dont) … I wanna know that ther is an almighty omniscience being htat loves me more htan I love anything and died because He gives a damn about me!!! That He will answer the prayers I prayed and won’t let me fall into evil or the pit. That He knew everything about me and always had a plan and will see it through… can you be greater than me GOd forever!!! I dont wanna be God …. I wanna be Gods best friend…
well I dont know if I wanna be Gods best friend anymore…. im busy being my soul mates best friend …. cause Im a terrible creature… forgive me God
id settle for “friend of God”
kinda sad when I wanna be closer friends to someone other than the most peaceful. compassionate powerful being
especially if the greatest serves teh least with servant leadership….I dont want to be God… and id love to has HIs power to help people but I dont have the wisdom or understanding to know exactly how help billions of people similtaniously and abiding by al the laws…. Id rahter do my part under Him and turst HEs got it all figured out… easier than being hte genius that know how to do everything ( which I am not and will never be)
I talked to superman
He didnt understand me
He thought HE did
but deep down…He was flawless
I asked Him if He understood pain
He of course He has
He felt the pain of loss and violence
but the pain of being human no
the pain of being limited
of not knowing the answer
of not being able to save
of letting down your greatest ally
the pain of not being able to thrive
not being able to provide
not being good enough
not an abled communicator
and HE asked me
would you like to trade places for a day?
I said no
I like the pain of humanity
its brings out the best in us
I believe that God Is Almighty
that anything made can be unmade
that any damage can be healed
that any sorrow can be turned to joy
I believe that the man is made in the image of God
that he can create like Him
have morality like Him
and serve like Him
I believe that God is good
that He is by nature the morality we strive for
that He holds the wisdom we strive for
that He gives mankind purpose
being a beacon of light to ideal towards
isnt It intresteding that the most powerful being in existence wnats you to request from Him via pray so that He can serve you?? and taht the only things He asks of you are alll for your benefit?? And that He wants good things for you?? ANd that HE suffered to die for you so you could be with HIm forever?
Dear Jesus,
Please forgivre me if ive said erroneous/stupid things. Theres so much I dont understand. Im sorry ive fallen from you. That ive got obssesed with her. Please straighten me out. I think I underestimate your greatness. I wish I had a simple faith like I used to. I dont wnawt others to fall becusea of me. I feel like im sending a bad message htat its okay to love someonee more than God. Even an angel. I dotn care if shes were the lowest of angles… if shes got what I desire… thta beautiful soul… thos virtues and taht character… and gets me and understadns me…. ill love her greater than any other… which goes agisnt the Bible… how can I call myslef a Christain when I love her more htan God…it conflicts me to pieces… my head hurts… just please dont send me or my soul mate into the fire… and let us be with you…as friends…did you know it would turn out like this? ANd how did Gabriel know? A nd not to be a coky pos sleazball do the host and servants want me to rule or you? FOrgive me
joshua
Lord I feel horrible
you wanna hear something awful… I wanna reign over creation… becuase I think I could do good… obviously id need tremendous help and guidance and a faithfu lpeopel that I coudl serve…. but I desire that now… what the hell is wrong with me? I just wanted to help people… now I wanna rule over them… change my heart Lord… im sorry im so proud… I just I love people so much I wanna help them but only if they listen … its part of my wicked God complex… but if I had her id be content being your servant… for awhile anyway.. until I saw how things could improve or currurption… youd do better tho cuase you can read minds and tell peoples hearts… so I think ou should be
why do I want that weight? Why do I wnat the challange of ssaving hte whole world??? I cant even win a deabte with my brother? How do I know Im right? how do I know I know the path forward? WHyd do I want to be in chare of an entire nation?? What makes me think so highly of myslef?? Has satna been wisperin in my ear? I hope to God my soul mates a wise genius that can help me out!! And id needs scores of people to help me govnern… and wise men too…. even with all these burdens it stimulates the bairns with excitement and makes me fill like I have a purpose.
thru mistreating unromanitcness and boredom I and you will stay we
my woman
ill probably go thru phases
of not treating you as I should
of my mind wandering
but at my core I wll always have you above me
I can always write you poetry
buy you flowers
do the dishes for you
whatever it takes
to keep you
my lover
there will be times
times of challange
and unromaniticness from me
but in my heart youll always be my one and only
but I can fix it
give me the word
Ill take you out
dress up fancy to match you
show you that I never forgot you
my best friend
I may get boring to you
you may get boring to me
but my heart is loyal
I will always love you
we can spruce things up
turn things back
to recreate that magic
do things to reinvigorate our relationship
Because you have the depth and intrigue
to keep me glued to your wonderland forever
I came from a distant land
new to the area
and found friends
but they forgot me
like a playtool from childhood
I embraced them
I loved them
we bonded
but in the end
I was just another crashing wave
did I leave a mark?
graffiti at least?
no but I left
an empty chair
proves I came and went
the queen of all creation
if my woman
were the most powerful being
I should be terrified
nervous to let her down
never looking at her the same
but im not scared
even if shes stronger than me
I know her character
I know her inward beauty
I have nothing to hide
in fact Id be excited
I trust her to execute mercy
to empower justice for the little man
she would never harm an innocent
and desires harm for know one
and even if I fail
shell forgive
If I let her down
ill be harder on myself then her
she knows me
and seeks to empower not enslave
Holy schnikies.. if my dream girl is as I describe her…. shes perfect for me… I wrote most of what I did in a daydream but if shes actually that perfect for me….. is there a higher power above God that we belong too? How elae can you explain the phenomenon? I f I know nothing about her but seek to be hers and get everything rigth I talk about her… and shes been waiting for me… maybe not but its very coincidental
so what did you wanna do Gabriel?? Leave everything and everyone behind and start our journey into timespace (prolly not)? Or do we need them? will they serve as interesting comrades??? Im just curious what you think…. or shuoodl we recreate the garden of eden with me and you and everyone else serving us? ANd recreate an entire species? Or should we create a planet bi enough for everyone and rule over them? Or should we only send Lucifer to hell alone? I have no idea what’s going on… maybe this is all foolish…forgive me ….but no matter what I want you by my side forever…
Gabriel… ill be your rigthh hand man if you wanna be a God… I feel thats more appropriate… just so im by you
or do you wanna be one with me like The Father Son and Holy Spirit are one?
I feel like this is my job… to write to my soul mate… to keep her engaged and entertained and let her know shes loved
millions of ways to show you I love you
flowers for your beauty
jewels for your elegance
chocolates for your sweetness
not just on valentines day
different ways of language to communicate
I can write poetry
I can speak eloquently
I can use metaphors and similes
to say the same three words
alternate routes of creativity show
by going on walks
by taking you on dates
by listening and comprehending
everything all accumulates
to
I
love
you
do you like my gay poetry???!!!!! its not gay if its wins me over a sexy woman!! Screw you Hailey;) jkjk
you know what my worst nightmare is ….. that I meet my soul mate and I have to play the fing game by hitting on her or asking her out like a normal person!!!! You have no idea how horrible I am at pickign up women…. im always just myself and jump into deep topics or controversial topics right away to see if we agree or are incompatiable…. im not good at playing the game women play…. I just wanna start taking to her and have a good conversation… that just doesnt work much tho… I wihs I could just meet her and she read everthing I wrote so we can start off withutu me havnig to paly the game …. I hat emodern daitng and how it works… ii whis tehre was a beter way to find women
dont just go out wiht whoever saks you1! thats not what im saying… I just wish men and women interacted more and met more people so it was easier and more comfortable to ask someone out
I doubt that ever and all women would wanna go out with me… theres a lot that disagree with me and despise me…. I just hear in my head dtha women are craazy about me and I coudl get any women I wanted lol…. you wanna hear something funny when I was in high school I said the same thing … that the voices said I could get any girl I wanted … I said it out loud and was so embarrassed by what I said… lol
they keep saying girls in middle school and high school were crazy about me… where were my friends hooking me up? Why didnt any girl aprons me?? I dunno… I was obssesed with women… but I was stupid and tried to stay loyal to my crush … lol I tried to not even talk to attractive girls to stay loyal… I was such a pos… and there were other women I kinda liked but I was tryiing to stay faithufl to a girl I talked to maybe once or twice… there were a lot of girls I woulda loved dating… o well.. I think ill come out on top with the best girl
how are we gonna go on double dates woman??? I mean when I go on dates wtih you I wanna see your face and your smile and your gorgeous eyes and that red hair… and if we go on a double date ill be sitting next to you so I cant look at you!!! ITs bad enough I can stare at you on walks!!! Maybe me and the man will sit on one side and the two ladies can sit on the other!! itll be a test to see if I can stay focused on you or the other other girl lol… or we can sit 4 way on a 4 way table so I can focus on your eyes and smile and you won’t have to let all that work on oyur hair go wihtout notice
you give me meaning reason and purpose
I wanna give you a reason
a reason to look good
a reason to stay slim
a reason to fancy your hair
that the depths of my soul can
reach out through my eyes
and witness true beauty
I wanna give you purpose
purpose to be merciful
purpose to be virtuous
purpose to have character
because deep down in your soul
that beautiful soul
enhances my love you for you
I wanna give you meaning
meaning to be a lover
meaning to be a mother
meaning to be holy
because everything you are
is a perfect counter-piece to mine
and reflects our belief set
that we is only as great
and me and you together
because your beauty
reflects the inward parts
and inspires me to be better
because your inward beauty
captivates me to the point
I want no other
Because without you
me means nothing
and my soul would wander
seeking meaning purpose reason
forever unquenched
without you
I kinda like that poem cause it show that I need her for meaning while at the same time showing I give her meaning…. like a perfect complements that complete …. God did a good job creating man and woman…
If I had no on else
no other girl
for fear of my girl
hehe amen sister
I wouldnt have it
any other way
if women were terrified
of flirting with me
for fear of the wrath
of my women
hehe amen woman
I wouldn’t have it
any other way
if women
never approached me
because they knew about
my woman
Id wear the biggest
goofiest ring to repel them
just so they knew
im a one woman kinda man
you know what the sad thing is … she probably doesnt care if I talk to or laugh with other girls… cause I dont care if she talks to or laughs wiht other guys… I might care a tad if they were fliritng but long as tehy didnt kiss or touch fliritingly I prolly wouldnt care much… I wish I was more of a protective guy didnt want anyone else to even talk to my honey… but I want the best thing for her and isuts good to talk to other guys and joke and have fun… and I turst her adn the angles so much I know no man would lay a finger om her sexually… I just want her happy and I think its okay to talk to others… its natural… Iheck if her and another guy did somehting toghethre like horseback riding or a trip to Vegas as long as I knew he was asafe id just wish I could tag along
Because I trust her
completely
so you think my woman wnats me hanging out with other women and doeijng things (I wouldnt kiss or touch innaporopriatly )??
but I dont wanna… I wanna wait for her
I could date other women
the most beautiful
elegance and poise
sexy and pure
but it wouldn’t be you
so I wouldnt care
I could talk to other women
the funniest
best conversations
most interesting
but it wouldn’t be the same
so I wouldnt care
I could find the purest
the holiest women
who beliefs perfectly align
and teach me truths
but id still want you
so Id wait for you
I dunno if I agre wtih htis poem… I only
wirte it cause I think your all three… I think your gonna be the most beaitufl I think im gonna love tlaking to ya and I think oyur the purest… kinda a dumb pome but im tryiing to say I want you and only you
I dreamt her up
said she was real
said if I can dream it
God musta already made it
impossible they say
no one is perfect for another
I kept writing her
I kept believing
but at some point
I gotta give up
dont I?
what am I holding on to?
I want her to be real
but dreaming aint reality
and Ive gone too far
maybe ill love a normal wife
nothing special nothing great
just another brick in the wall
girls are crazy about you!!
fuck you I said
ive never had a gf
they run from me
if they wanted me so bad
they’d be knocking at my door
girls are crazy about you!!
fuck you I said
I wanted one girl
and one girl only
but it appears its jsut a dream
a childish fantasy
girs are crazy about you!!
I hate you
so much
no one gives two shits about me
you let me believe id find someone
someone perfect
that’ll never exist
because I aint perfect
fuck you
Im sorry I swear and write trashy poetry… its just it burns within me to be with her … just to see that face that haunts me to hear that voice that eludes me to feel that embrace that ive been waiting for, an embarce of the soul, and to finally put an end to the misery to that burning hole… taht painful attak within that screams out taht I have a pain that only one girl can solve
Dear imaginary woman…
I still believe you are real… I just have a funny feeling itll be a loooooong wait .. like ill forget about you by then…. and have moved on… thats what I need to do I know…. let go of you… but thats what im afraid of … losing you
te amo- latin
how would you like to learn another language with me??? Probably not gonna happen…. but if we did… we could speak our own code and make fun of people without them knowing and such!!
id be too difficult to squeeze in I know…just a pipe dream
you guys remember when I said
you guys remember wehn I was crazy and said dissidnet and then every liberal news show used the word for a few weeks…. and when I aid I was in a cult and they said the republican party was a cult…. I dont know why they were watching me as if I was this genius… if oyu read the book youd understand I have little direciton and few answers …. anyhow it was fun while it lasted…
are people still watching me??? Cuase im kinda boring and normal …. can I just have her… thats where my attention is desired
lol they said I stopped wwIII im a looney bin psycho
life seems so futile
so empty
so meaningless
I do things
im with people
but all I wanna do is sleep
I could write about
the depth of God
loving your neighbor
making a difference for others
but there are times
I just dont care
there are times
I wanna live
and do and create
yet even with her
I think id still feel meaningless
this pain just comes and goes
I think I still love you tho… my dear woman… I feel horrible I dont care much about God or Jesus… I just want you… forgive me dear one… can you help restore me? Or show me a better way… but I hope my illness doesnt take away my love foryou… why did you want a man with a mental illness as your dream????? im gonna need you so depsertely and won’t be able to help you as much at times…im so immensly flawed… I dont deserve you at all … im just glad I have an illness and not you… I couldnt bear that
are you happy woman???? cause nothing could bring me outta depression faster than your happiness!!! if you got what you wanted ill be ecstatic… I dont know who to thank but thank you!!!!! keep her happy till we meet okay????
I dont understand so much… what is my purpose, my destiny??? Why do people care ? About me? What good did I do? Am I destined to feel this pain for all eternity ? TO struggle as a manic depressant for all eternity?
why do you care??
I asked why
why did people
care about me?
I waited
best I got was
youre like me
I asked how
how could they
remember me?
I was a nobody
they said its cause
they were too
I asked when
when could I see
their faces and hear the
their voices
they reminded me
eternities a long time
my fantasy
I said I wanted her
a perfect soul mate
one of a kinds
made for me
like my heart
fantasy they said
but even the fantasy
drives me wild
and lights this soul afire
I wrote out what I wanted
a gem beyond comapare
better than any seen before
full of character virtue and truth
smart heartfelt and full of life
the desire of any and all men
the envy of other women
I didn’t think i was good worthy
but that high made me alive
I could doubt
I could settle
but my heart agrees with my mind
my soul aligns with my fantasy
she is the epitome of perfect
my one and only
I will love you and only you
redefining love into something higher
making fantasy reality
they said finding love like I want is impossible
they also said man flying was
they said my dream of a perfect woman is a fantasy
they also said cloning was fantasy
they said the idea of us being made for each other was fiction
they also said reaching mars was fiction
they said its not realistic to expect so much and give so much
they also said that leaving the earth wasn’t either
they said two lovers couldn’t be together forever
I said God stayed true for thousands of years… why no us?
they said its you imagining your love
I said all imagination is based off reality
they said it’ll never work
I said mankind was made to make the impossible possible
they said she’s not real
you wouldn’t think someone like me existed either would you?
they say the perfect romance is a lie
they’ve lied about everything else… why not this?
how many people waste their time reading my broken words?? I just wanna be with her… I hope I dont lead people astray…. I hop e I dont lead her astray…
I was kinda hoping to hold off on publishing my poems… I wanted her to maybe edit if need be… or maybe do the drawings if shes and artist!!! and at the very least tell me her favorites… I just want her to be happy (with me!!! it better fuckign be with me!! after all ive been through and how much I care iwith her itd be hell seeing her with someone else!!! pease tell me im good enough for her!!). I love you dear… let me know if I need to quite writing!!!
Ive had so little experience… I dotn wanna fail you…. I wish I could just meet you and talk to you!!! I think your intelligent beyond belief …. thats why I wish I coudl talk to you.. no one i know believes in you … the story doesnt mean anything to anyone it seems… I dont want anything to happen to her!!! I ll be her guradian angel!!!! She can marry Jesus or someone else better than me!! JUST DO NOT HURT HER!!! GIVE ME MORE HARDSHIP!!! ILL EVEN BE POOR WITH HER IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES… just dont let her leave me
if she doesnt want me to go into politics I won’t
shes in pain inst she?? I put her through so much… im so sorry…. you should have stayed the most powerful!!! I woulda met you in the next life!!! IM so sorry….. its like hell isnt it?? Being in your state… please forgive me
I Wrote to her
I develop a language
I conveyed my love
but I never asked
does she love me?
I wanted her so bad
I thought about her
constantly
she was all I cared about
but I never thought
am I what’s best for her?
I felt pain without her
but I never experienced
the hells of pain she went through
please forgive me woman
how can I repay you?
or make it up to you??
im sorry im so selfish
and only push my desire
of you for myslef
I dont knwo if you wnat me
if am best for you
or if I can take away the pain
I just dont wanna let oyu down
I wonder If the soul ages in heaven…. I mean time still is even in paradise… how do remember thousands of years?? do you get wiser? or forget basic truths?? and does time go by like hte blink of an eye?? To the point a decade feels like ten minutes???
is is wrong hat I want every transgender to go back to their orignal gender?? That I want it illegal punishable by lifetime in prison by the doctor? That I dont want any homosexuals in public or corsssdressers… its just unnatural…. I want therapist to help with gender dyphroia…for people to beat their illnesses… and porn to be outlawed.. for the pron stars and teh kids that suffer with addiction…and for pedephillia to be a captial punishment to stop this madness… aim so sick of our kids being tortured with sex ed in kindergarten… you are biorn eihter male or female… its not always fair… epsecially cuase alot of gender cunfused people were molested as kids… i just wnana help them be whole agian…to find healing from the disease … I know its hard doing the right thing… espcially if your got impulses contrary … and its hell overcomin them I know… but its the only way society can flurish… its the only way they can feel whole and conquere that guilt and shame (unless theyve gone so far they just dont care anymore)
or did satan win and we all can do whatever the hell is within us?
look ive fought with everythign ive had to beat my gender dysphoria… please dotn take this away from me!!! I wanna be a man!! I wanna be with a real girl the most beaitufil the most attractive in every way…. im so depressed thinking I lost… I must be the antichrist… is the devil won anyway… I just wanted to be with her… so terribly bad… its the main reason I keep going… casue I love her… cause I wanna be with her
I feel like a let down… like ive failed her in some way… by not being there for her… I wish I could just know that somehow im keeping her afloat or happy… like I am making a difference… in her life… like my words arent wasted and my thoughts are reaching her…. like she loves me and feel this heavy weight without me… but im lightening htat weight with my words… and I wish deeply madly taht she will always be the cure to my sorrow…. taht she will always excite me comfort me and bring me joy…. that no matter how much time passes and how many years we go through we always have something to say…and always feel close to one another in a deep loving way no matter anything…. I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!! I know its not oyur fault but your the only one that can take awy this pain
I shouldnt write all this… its gonna be hard for me to live up ti everything… I just feel so strongly … but emotions arent facts….its just they are more potent… and I hope my emotions dont overpower my reality to the point of dissapointment for her . please dont let me fail her
the best womens looks may age like teenage lingo but her soul ages like classic poetry
if her soul is that beautiful.. am I truly good enough for her???? I mean who am I to be with the most beautiful soul out there?? And what is beauty?? Something that dazzles that catches your eyes and holds it…. something that awes you and makes you wanna just stop and stare… its something that attracts more than just the eye… it captivates and reaches to the soul…. it transcends looks and approaches divinity…. because the greatest thing is almost always the most beautiful in one way or another… maybe im wrong about that last one…. but men and women live for the beauty of life… they crave it… thats why a beautiful women has such value… they encapsulate everything desirable in life… but the greatest beauty Is hidden… the internal beauty…its harder to spot but leaves a deeper mark… it brings out the absolute best in those who understand its language… and it never fades but only enhances itself… its the inward beauty that never ceases … its the inward beauty that transforms women into angels (metaphorically)… while the outside beauty attracts, the inward beauty grabs hold of you captivates you and takes to you to paradise .. It hidden alright… but its depth has no limits its love no height… it is what defines you… it is what’ makes or breaks you… it is the true essence of beauty whose impacts are greater and longevity has no equal… as beauty to the eyes Is pleasant, so to is hidden inward beauty pleasant to the soul
you knwo what I would love?? For my writings… my poetry… my quotes… my journal…. to inspire great works of art!!! to inspire new movies that become classics!!! to inspire children stories hat teach values!!!! to inspire novel sand books that transcends ordinary works and leaves a deeper mark on society!!! and maybe even inspire video games or music !!! That I leave the gift of inspiration to my fellow creature!!! and that stand the test of time. and that it snowballs into something aht the whole human race relates too!!
I wanted happiness
but without enough sorrow
I couldn’t each the heights I wanted
not without intense letdown
I wanted strength
but without enough pain
I couldn’t obtain the power I wanted
theres a tradeoff fo all desires
I wanted wisdom
but I was afraid to play the fool
little did I realize
the wise gain from foolish questions
too serious and your a stickler
too much humor and your a joke
too kind and your a pushover
too harsh and your cruel
too embracing and your clingy
to distant and your cold
too smart and your a nerd
too dumb and your a fool
too innocent and your inexperienced
too guilty and your a pariah
too strong and your a meathead
too weak and your a sissy
too social you don’t find yourself
too antisocial you don’t meet others
too dedicated you become a fanatic
too indifferent nothing matters to you
too much shallow you cant relate
too much depth no one understands you
time space and matter
how do we function without time?
what is creation without change?
if we stand stuck in time
we just are for a time
nothing different nothing forward
we cant be for more than that moment
time is what makes life possible
how do we function space?
what is time without space?
and where would time be?
if we cant go from one space
to another what are we?
we cant live or move or grow or act…
were just shadows
how do we function without matter?
what good are time and space with matter?
existing in a body with possibility
the ability to move to think to emote
to react and interact and just plain act
all culminating in our being
a body and mind completes us
I dunno how well taht last one was… I wish I coudl do better beut its… okay… I like the premisce but wish I could edxpand in a more proufoudn way with the same amount of words/… anyway wwhoever invented all this is a genius
emotion think ing action
we feel
our first ability
we cry cause were afraid
we smile for joy experience
even babies emote feelings
before complex (thought or action)
we feel intensely
we act
in everyway anyway we can
we test the limits of mankind
we experience life
through what we do do
use our senses to accumulate
all around us so we can
replicate our greatness with action
we think
the deepest of these
the philosophical proof of life
trumps actions done
as it puts them into motion
and rivals emotion
to see which is more substantial
but leads us deeper
as it explains emotions and actions
woman I wish I could get your opinion
ive spent so much time on you… your an addiction… a desire beyond belief … I dont even know what teh ramifications are if you really are Gabriel… does taht make us king and queen of creation?? How? Why? And what about Jesus? And teh Father??? How can something He knows insisde and out and created down to the atom and beyond surpass Him? I just wanted a soul mate beyond belief!! The perfect for me woman… maybe thats too much to ask for … but it fells like a battle to get to her… like all creation wants me and her to be one…but then whose the the bad guy? someone keeps us serrate, right? someones gottta oppose us? thats what im so confused about… if God teh devil and all of creation are fihting for me and her…. why is there still evil in the world?
but I feel like life is just a battle… and your the prize that I gotta constantly keep fighting for…. that even if I have you I have to prove myself to you everyday.. I have to be there for you to prove the validity of my words… that my love may echo fresh happiness rather than play flat repeats.. I dont want our fire to cool… or our spark to lose potency …. I wnat our connection to only grow deeper…. to bond tighter with each challenge struggle and trial and our love to be expressed perpetually with constant reminders of my love for you… taht you never have to feel anything but loved from me…taht even in our disputes we draw closer… and that I never hurt you in any way ( I might but please forgive me… im still flawed)… I just want to give you everything …because to me you are everything
me+her=
as sparks plus wood creates fire
so me and her together is lit
as hydrogen and oxygen combine to be water
so me plus her is essential chemistry
as the sky and electricity show lightning
so my love and her depth allow wonder
as man gives nature meaning
so does she create purpose within me
as a king rules alongside his queen
so do I need her by me as a councilor
as two inseparable friends mourn apart
so too does my soul feel pain without you
like a dog in depression without its master
so I wait emptily to see that glorious face
as men and women compliment
so were me and made for each other
as time needs space and matter needs both
so does she complete me to the depths of my soul
as actions give words meaning
so to does her reciprocation of my love make it worthwhile
WILL THEY FINNALY BREKA AND LET ME SEE HER??? Did I win over my enemies? I just wanna be withi her foerver and provide for a big family okay? (welllll…beisedes all teh polotical/relgious stuff I want;)
Does my work show freshness and diverse thought?? Or have I been too repetitive?? I try to wirite different peices… is it fresh and new? or are people getting bored with teh format..???