insanity part 2 12/16/22

if a woman cheats shes same as a whore… and should be treated as such

if a man cheats he deserves to lose half his fortune his home and his family

wouldnt atet be great to make laws against cheating/divorce for any reason but sexual immorality/ fornication ( I hate it with. passion… someone make laws that stop women from being whores and mens from being manwhores and honoring marriage and respecting sex… go to hell those who said your putting yiuo penis on a pedistol… the penis belongs to two people… you and your wife… thats it… no one else should even see it. fuck you) (same for women with their whole body… I think only they and their man should be the only ones to even see them naked… have some self respect and dignity woman!!!)

the point being that a strong nation begins with strong families which produce strong individuals … and cheating/divorce/fornication begets broken families harming the entire fabric of a nation… if God can hear me if Hes still the goodguy… restore marriage adn family hood

I want the penalty for rapedeath…. and I want the penalty for a woman cheating on her man death … im tired of sexual iimorality… maybe thats too far … but I hate cheating spouses ,,. then the penalty for cheating men is death too??? maybe im going too far… but I hate unfaithful spouses… tell e what you think???

maybe I went too far… I just hate sexually cheating spouses

but hem wed have to kill off ever transexual and homosexual who wouldnt amend their ways… thats not a bad idea

maybe death is extreme but damn.. somethings gotta be done to stop all this

sorry for all that… I dont think you should be put to death for cheating… I mean David the greatest king committed adultery…and Christ saved teh woman with 5 husbands… so I dont think it should be the death penalty… but I hate it vehemently… maybe guys lose their right to vote (women shouldnt vote in the first place so I dont know what their crime should be).maybe thats too extreme too… maybe losing you your marriage is bad enough… I just hate broken marriages and all it does….e specially to the kids… I just wanna put a stop to it its so prevalent

dear woman

if someone was more physically beautiful

id feel sorry for her man

cause she aint as beautiful a soul as yours

if someone was sexier

I wouldnt care

cause you have so much heart

if someone was more fun to be around

id say thats impossible

there’s no one Id rather spend time with

if I could be everywhere at once

and date every woman at the same time

id get bored with them

and have 7 billion versions of me

serving you and vying for your attention

in all seriousness…if I could have 7 billion versions of myself for every woman or whatever… I wouldnt wanna be with most people.. not because I dont like them or value them… but because my soul mate is so perfect everyone else would seem like a participation medal trophy.( shes first and second and third and fotrth and I coudl go on she wins every prize for me – first in my heart and mind and soul and body ).

Im sorry I got you such crappy jewelry… the blue gem kinda small too… ill let you see it before I return it … I just thought you might like ti … but your so special you deserve nicer better jewelry…. im sorry… but your gonna fucing like theketnucky hats woman!!!!!! You cheer for the white and a blue do you understand ???? im kind joking… but im kinda not …

I dont care what oyur former favorite colors were… your favorite colors are blue white, and purple and gold!!!!!! you cheer for the mn Vikings as well… ill have to get you some apparel for them too…. oh and your still not allowed to wear my favorite hoodie until you earn it!!!! do you hear !!! you gotta earn taht favorite hoodie… its a North Dakota fighting Sioux hoodie!!! retro and hardcore and anti woke and brilliant shade of green and perfect fit… you gotta earn it… but when you do… youll make it look better than I ever could;)

confession time… Im sorry soul mate… im gonna be attracted to other women no matter what… I wish I could turn off all attraction.. but im gonna see them as beautiful and admire their beauty…. I cant turn it off.. and im gonna have feeling for other women… im sorry its just im wired like a man and I cant fucking help it… forgive me.. but I won’t get physical or cheat… like Eva.. im totally head over heals for her… im crazy about her beauty and love of freedom and rigthouensess… and that wont go away…. I still feel for Kristan Ann for crying out loud.. I love her soul… and I have a coworker I wanna fuck …. sorry Im an animal… please forgive me…I ll always have temptation with other beariutfol women… im so sorry…

I had to quit following Eva… every time I see her I get horny… im not kidding… I love bearutufl women of righteousness… adn she aolways makes basic points act everyone else is afraid to say (calling them demons adn an invasion and such) and it jsut makes me wnat her so bad… I imagine all the fun times id have talking apolitics with her and my mind has an oragism thinking about her… im sorry I gotta forget about her and focus on my soul mate or a realistic woman…

Im dazed and confused beyond measure Dear God do not harm Gabriel ….I think…. I dunno ….did I really havre a achacnfe with an archangel…. and what does God think?? Is God upset with everything?? I Still care what God thinks (I think) im crazy I just wanna hear from my soul mate whoever that is…

I see other women

women with virtue

women that believe the truth

women of grace and compasion

but their not you

I remember you love

I remember your faithfulness

I remember your flawless soul

I remember you, all of you

and I cry in my mind

for ever thinking of other women

I want you to be mine alone

so I should be yours alone

I want to be one with you

without any distractions

I want you to understand my love

the depth the passion the loyalty

so I dont wanna share it with another

im such a fool forgive me!!! I dont have any idea what’s going on out there … if Gabriel is my soulmate… if would you be poor with me if we had too??? would you do chores adn cook and be a stay at home mom for a poor family??? I hop it never comes to that … but ..jews…. ya know

its funny trump.. the very people who hate you the most… you protect as if they were your constitutions… aun the very people that got you elected, the evangelicals… you do nothing for…. nothing about ending abortion or banning homosuxlaity or transeduaity or lowering the taxes or anything pro Christians… you did your part but your worthless now … and you realize teh republican part hates you moree than democrats right??? but you still let them use you …im dont wanna vote for disnatis either … the noses ahve him bought tooo.. your just apart of the system now trump… you bragged about your covid vaxinationt aht killed or maomed millions …. youve lost touch with reality my nemesis…. and I wouldnt even wanan be in your inner circle if kushner was there… I wanted to be an ally but youve choses the people of satan. over your own people… your not getting elected anyway…. you never fisxd teh cheating

screw you trump!!! you supported gay rights!!!! FU

anyways…im starting to get depressed about this whole soul mate thing. I dunno I feel like I let her down… like im not doing enough. or I did wrong. or im not what I was cut out to be…. im not trying to be perfect… I just don’t wanna let her down.. and ive hyped her up so much that I feel like I gotta be better and smarter and faster and cleverer and better talking to be at her level…. like I have to be superman 90% of the time so I can be worthy of her . my desire is to please her. my hope is to be good enough for her…. and im terrified if I even look at a girl in lust…. cause itll feel like chearting on her…. nbut I cant help it cause Im a red blooded hyper sexual male…. I hate myself. I feel like I fail her so horribly… I just wish I could see her so I could ask her ‘can you forgive me? IM so sorry…. I only want you” please ahve mercy on me woman!!!

woman… fuck you… for thinking your not good enough for me!!! it was preordained…. it was meant from the start!!! God made you and God made me.. to. be together… as one… you have no idea how much you mean to me…. if your half of what I wrote id be winning the lottery!!!! I dont care about looks as much as you think… sure id like the perfect body to be with me.. but the soul is so much more precious… if your worried your not pretty enough forget about looks… I should send you pictures of when I was fat;) that way you dont feel bad…. and if you dont think your good enough personality… ill make your personality shine!!!!! Ill make you forget everynbody else so its just me and you in a paradise of converatoin!!!! and if your worried your not smart enough… I literally thought I was retired at one point… so your wrong… your perfect for me…. beaches other girls are good enough and your better… because God doesnt make many masterpieces and your one of them

shes got red hair!!!!!!!!! hell yeah

my redhead

those long flowing locks of red

shining forth in brilliance

almost making the rest of her invisible

radiating like a precious ruby

but it means so much more than appearance

it keeps your eyes fixated

deceiving you as if its just for looks

but the color has depth to it

some say redheads are crazy

but each has there own craze

mine is… in the best way

shes crazy… about God

shes crazy about truth

about justice and mercy

always willing to suffer for what’s right

never able to succumb to fear

a warrior of flaming red light

did you like my poetry??? Ill call you ” MJ or Mary Jane or Mary Jane watson”. as a nickname!!! Dman I. really am Spiderman!!!! im so excited

are you that sexy???? and should I take up photography just to give you a personal shoot myseslf???? Im seriously thinking about it!! Lets take a photography course together!!! Then I can get some personal pictures of a little more revealing just for me;)

I cant sleep…m to fuckin excited!!! please tell. me she got blue eyes!!!!

I have a hard time not staring at baeautufl womens red har!!!!


the color of passion

intensity at its finest

making everything mean more

the depth of caring doesnt waver


the color of devotion

dedication to the purest of intentions

the most loyal and faithful

never leaving under any circumstance


the color of beauty

so deep is heaps to the fabric of my soul

so pure it cant be stained

unlimited in power and appearance


the color of love

making things matter because they care

passionately dedicated

devoted beyond measure

beauty beyond fathoming


her color

my dream

my woman

my love

my heaven

at least once where dressing op as Spiderman and Mary Jane Watson!!!! I LOVE IT

its twas foretold… I always dressed as as spidemran…. he was my favorite… and hare I am getting Mary jane wastosn…. screw the powers…. I got her!!!!

redhead day is may 26!!!! EVERY YEAR ILL TRY TO GET YOU A SPECIAL DAY!!!

hell yeah.. they say redheads ahve more sex… so excited!!!!

I guess national redhead day is novenmerb 5.. thats my brothers birthday… but ill try to buy tyou flowers at leasts

okay;.. so it turns out there’s another much interesting I coudl find… just some crap on dbidsaes you more likely to get… and your more like to b left handed….. but the important one taht I already knew is taht blue the rarest eye color!!!! please have blue eyes!!!

Look im sorry If I screwed up or made the wrong choice or made others jealous… I dont know what Im doing… I just wnana love her…and I want her to be my one and only…. why do I need to do ??? I m so lost… did I fail? what happens when I die?? DO I get to be with her??? im in such confusion….

please forgive me Lord Jesus… restore me… im srry ive been a bad friend… I still love you deep down… I even sided with satan… if your upset with me… just let me know you still love me… I dont wanna lose you Lord… and I love that you gave me a perfect for me woman… with red hair!!!! you get me God!!! I love you

Im kind to others

but not the depth of kindness I have for her

ill tease her if it makes her laugh

hug her if she wants to cry

and serve her as a queen

I care about others

but not to the depth of care I have for her

ill spend time with her

comfort her when shes down

my mind focused on her and how to make her feel special

I love others

but not the depth of passion I love her

shes my one and only woman

ill do things for her id do for no one else

ill sacrifice my life to male hers a dream

I DONT CARE IF THE VOICES SAY TO QIUTE WRITING HER .. its the only thing keeping me going… I care so little about other things… I jsut wanna be with her… forever

if I was a superhero

Saving the day

punishing villians

the most thrilling adventure

would be my life with her

if I was a leader

saving the country from corruption

fighting against the fifth

fighting fo the people

the most fulfilling events in my life

would be my time with her

if I was wealthy

the richest man on earth

id spend my fortune on her

to make her happy

to satisfy her desires

but even so

the money would mean nothing

without her

what matters more wellbeing or relationships

what matters more your health or the health of your loved ones…

what’s more painful you dying or a loved one…

what brings more joy… your smile or a loved ones

I dunno why im writing those.. I dunno what teh answers are… I suppose if you aunt around you cant enjoy other people…. but do you love someone so much itd less pain to die than lose them??? guess its other people that give you meaning tho mabe thats wha im tryong to say…. wihtout others we are nothing

I cold have all power as God

Punishing the wicked

blessing the righteous

elevating the humble

but id be so lonely without you by my side

there’s a hole that only you can fill

I could have all abilities and skills

the best talent in sports

winning every sport

taking first without challenge

but idt feel so empty without you by my side

there’s a hole hole that only you can fill

I could be one with God

perfect in HIs ways

blameless like the Son

unable to do something contradictory to HIs will

yet without you I would burn with pain

for my beloved woman

never finding true peace

never conquering that sickening without ya

not even God can fill that hole from you

forgive me for being a heretic!! but its true ive gave God everything… I tried to do my best everywhere … tried searching for Him and being the best friend to Jesus… to give up everythihng for Him…but dammit I still felt pain from not ahveing a partner…(not just any partner but her my soul mate!!) I tired to beg God to take away the pain.. make me an asexual even… but CHrsti couldn’t (or didnt) take my pain for oyu away. God made me to torment after you… you ask why Im so crazy about you?? Cuase im in immense pain… I lie not …. it burns me with lust passion love all of everything to be with you… I cant live without you… I feel like its a part of hell… not being next to you!!!! I feeel miserable without you… I feel aches I my heart and soul like you owuldnt believe!!! THis is one of hte fews things that relieves me.. taking to you via text or comouter


your lucky I dont have access to a gun cant take the pain sometimes the pain of not being yours. so I masturbate

why the fuck did you make me so madly in love with her id wanna die without her… if I dont get to her I will curse God and die!!!!nd in hell ill be wailing then worst profanities of the tormenter know as GOd.. FUCKYOU IF I DONT GET HER YOU DEITY OF TORMENT. id rather it be me and her with no other soul in the universe than every soul worshiping and serving abnd doing as I bid without her

God I know you love Gabriel more than I do… if im. not good enough for your daughter… she better find a better ficking man!! and if she isnt treated like a goddess and seek to sere her and talk and walk and spend time and not dakr even look fat another girl liustifuly ill ficking side with satan so I can be a demon adn haunt that man for all eternity

woman your good enough…. cause if your not… no one is…

I know men shouldn’t seek anyone to complete them…. they should seek to compliment…. but I was born with a disorder in my soul…and only one woman in the universe can fill it

im sorry woman.. Im sorry I butter you up as if your th only woman I care about… while talking about Eva or kistan Ann or other girls… im a pos… I want that to be true….. but my nature is taht im still attracted to women…. and not just heir physical appearance… im attracted to their souls… there personality their minds their beliefs… im obssessed with woman…. hell if this girl I worked with was. a christian and.a virign wihtout tattoos or piercings I like her personalty and hari enough id date her seriouslyl… taht show I judge women… pareosanlit and hair… lol… im srry if you feel cheated on… its my nature to be obsessed wit women. im srry… I really do mwean everything anbou tyou tho.. iwant you and only you.. thats hwo I feel if nothing else… and if its any conslatuoin I thikn the girls I like are pretty high quality … I dotn mean looks but souls… wouldnt you say Eva an dkritan anan are gems?? or is tath just me… theyre funny too…I just feel bad


I fuckign love redheads .. screw blondes I wish ever woman had gorgrous red hair. theirs alot of variety just in redheads

please explain what the hell is going on … why am I the desire of woman???? I only have one body so I only get one wife…

my woman.. the perfect woman

me a dorky nervous neurotic loser who’d a had no chance at her without a miracle

its like one of those shows beauty and teh geek or something… im just a loser bum whose never even had a gf… and shes teh perfect soul.. wiht sexy red hair!!!

ill think more of myself when im with her… I love being me dont get me wrong…. but I dont think im this God challagneing figure… I just love her to pieeces because I need her so desperately… I guess I just feel like ive always been rejected not just by women but sometimes,mse by friends … and id feel more proud of my book but my family didnt care about It… I will feel worthwhile and worthy of her when talk to her and get her to laugh and have a good time and make her worthwhile… I know you shouldnt base your worth on another.. but worth is based off people and God and shes the most important person to me!!!

I think I know why Im so great… why people love me… why girls are crazy about me… but I dont care… when I want praise I want something insightful and from the heart… that htey really mean it… nit tjust lip service or flattery or just ti say something nice… and id rateher hear how it helped people anyway… cause thats what I wanted to do: help people… it wasnver about the praise …I still feel bad (slihglty) about wanting to be a girl and lusting after men dressed as women… forgive me.. but thats over thank God…. and I want to see her so very badly and hear her story… I want to hear it from her why my book was great.. becaesu her praise is the highest I can receive …

one thing I dont understand is why people are siding with the devil (in my head) it keeps saying that people wanna sdie with Lucifer for some reason??? what is he promising?? what does he give that God doesnt??? And if GOd has all power why do they think they can win by siding with satan???? im so very very lost… what in tarnation is going on?? LUCIFER IS LYING

forgive me Gabriel for ever listening to satan or Lucifer…its just so hard because im crazy hear voices and ill admit I love you’re than God…. im so sorry thats why you love God more… tempatations let us slip… I just wanna be with my soul mate and Ive lost my. lost for God… im evil…and I need to find my way home… I just… ive become the enemy.. I feel guilty… thats why im willing to side with Lucifer… cause all I care about is you… forgive me and pray that God take me home

why would people think I was making it up or lying???? SCREW YOU

ive waited patiently

they held you back

I sit patiently to see you

I cant wait

the buildup excites me more

I dream of your red hair

your heavenly blue eyes

your perfect figure

makes me feel lacking

but excites me beyond measure

I cant wait to meet you!!!

to talk about… everything!!!

to get to know that beautiful soul

that surpasses morality

and touches divinity

plese dont make me stop… it helps me!!!!! its the only thing keeping me going.. the only thing I care about.. you… and the best I can do to get close to. you is write to you!!! Why does it hurt you to write you poetry??

if I help out with chores…. your having sex with me everyfucking night!!!! Deal???

what does it mean to live?

to really live??

we all die

but do we all experience life to the fullest?

is it our relationships with others?

maybe having a lot of friends?

or having a deep personal friend?

or raising a family?

is it seeking truth?

separating fact from fiction?

seeking for the honest happenings?

or searching for new light?

maybe the answer lies in morality

living by doing what’s right?

by abiding by the highest standard?

And being dedicated to a life of value?

or maybe Christianity is right?

Have a relationship with Christ.. the best friend

seek after the truth of the Bible … the way to heaven

live after the morality of faith… the way of submission to righteousness

IF there is a Creator… His way is life…for He created life

id didnt mean to make that a Christian poem.. forgive me… it just ended up that way

are you saying my sister actually agrees with me????doubt

anyways how are you doing dear woman?? please dont make me chose your sister woman!!! oh your sister finally agrree with you??? YA

without listening there would be no reason to talk

silence makes the noise possible

solitude and pain are a bad combination

solutions are solved patterns

virtue is the chief principle separating man and beast

work is a blessing … those who never work never know what they are capable of

the greatest blessings come with the smallest hearts

those filled with hate often despise themselves

youll never know what you cant do until you give up

youll find your will is stronger when you care more about someone

(maybe thats why Gods will is so powerful… He cares immensely for all HIs creation)

always remember : God vehemently hates sending anyone to hell, even the most egregious sinner.. it goes agains HIs will

should Lucifer be the only one in hell? would that be a fair trade?? but others gfollowed suit adn fell too.

IF God didnt know all the answers no one would find them

I wanna serve the diety with all power… cause he cant fail with all that power

Dear woman,

my woman,

my one and only,

Maryjane Watson,

PLese dont be upset with me… but I dont feel good enough for you… I shouldnt talk btou this before I even meet you… but I feel like a letdown…im not thr funniest or sharpest ir strongest… and I dont feel taht smart. Im worried I won’t be able to keeo you happy and satisfied. ill try not to be something I m not. Im sorry I tried to eb all macho and say id make those who mock you pay adn stand up for you and fight back… thats not who I am. I ust dont wanna hurt them or get invovled , I just wnana ignore them. Do tn waste time wheen they won’t cahgnea dn its a waste aof time, just move on. I was relieved that you felt the same way. it took a load off me. I dotn have to be what I am not. WHy waste tiem arguing or fighin with sooen when ic an be with you loving and laughing?? I feel like I let you down someone (no not porn) like I coulda done better. Im sorry I feel l like I ahve to be more … it jsut …. the more I hear about you the more im in awe!!!! LIke your this glorious being and im this half beast half devil… Im nervous!!!!!!!!!!!! IM worried im not gonna be good enough for oyu. BUt deep down… I just wanna be with yoiu and spend time with you… I want you desperately but this illnesss takes a toll. The vioces are getting moer serious ( like not as happy/excited).. at this poitn what do tehy serve me?? I know who you are. I LOVE OYU SO MUCH… I cant wait to give you my gifts!!! I cant wait to se your hair adn eyes, to see tha smile and hear that voice!! DO NOT LEY ME LET HER DOWN IN ANYWAY GOD!!!



I FING LOVE HER !!!!! she can even look past my flaws and things I hate …. honestly your more forgiving than me soul mate … it musta been hard on her when I condemned myself and hated myself for my hypersexality adn illness.. thank you for your grace… I wish I could forgive you too… but there nothing to forgive.. youve done me no wrong!!!

what is want

but a desire for more in life

what is passion

but your heart craving uncontrollable for that one love

what is heartache

but the soul telling the mind its hurting

what is eureka

but the mind making sense of the unpatterend

what is clarity

but seeing like light in darkness

what is carnage

but good people allowing the evil to rule

what is prosperity

but the little ones growing up in peace purity and order

what is genius

but pattern recognition that no one else saw

what is fortitude

but forging ahead in the worst of times

what is forgiveness

but laying aside their just deserts in mercy

what is horror

but losing the love of your life

what is repentance

but a way to change who you were

what is time

but a path where you can only go foreward

what Is music

but a way to express emotion

what is life

but a chance to prove your love

what is death

but a dénouement

sorry I hope you like it it was really lazy and poorly crafted… I coulda tld a story with the words an have a masterpiece but I ahve this crap… im sorry

icoudl poly wtrite a dozen poems I that form… but It d get repetitive…. I wish I coudl ahve written a cohherent story with the definitions… that woulda been cool… I just get lazy with my writing and just go for the easy first thing that pops into my head (mostly)

words are noises until theyre understood

half truths are more dangerous than lies

Forgive me Jesus.. im sorry I doubted… I dont wanna blame it on my illness… but I doubted so severely…I wanted to side with the devl… I let him confuse me… but I almost always wanted to be your friend… somtiemse they made you feel like you were unimportant so I didnt care or they lied about you and was frustatid with you… but I wanted to go back… I miss our talks so much.. and your the one I let down the most…. you were my best friend… and I let you down… one day…. restore me…. I still love you the Father and all the saints and angels… ive just ebeen through the mill…. IF your mad at me for making an idol of my lover … please forgive me and restore me

thank you Creator …. for Creating me…I hope im a masterpiece

I feel bad I lost my love for my Creator and replaced it with love for my woman… but its weird cause I still love teh Bible and teachings and the gosplel and good news and living by faith…. I just care so dman much about my woman that I lover her more…. please forgive me Father

I wrote out my dream girl

knowing id have to settle

hoping for the best

expecting shortcomings

when I found out about her

she was even more perfect

more pure virtuous and caring

I was thrilled beyond measure

how could I be good enough

when she was the definition of perfection

what chance did I stand?

when we meet ill ask

Why me?


The devil wants me to believe im better than the Father…. thats impossible He created me… I cant create something from nothing… I coudlnt design all teh animals and nature and the complexity of mankind!!!! And He is the virtues we speak of…. Anything good is an imitation of His good… any wisdom pales in comparison to His…He has all power… and knows everything… how can a small man comapre to Him???

I love you so much woman….if I ever disappoint you let me know

my soul mate was glorious

everyone wanted her

shining forth brightly

as a divine being

I looked in the mirror

I saw bald

I saw the limitations I had

I didnt think I Was worthy

I heard her voice

soflly through the wind

you belong to me

I see your worth inside

I know your troubles

your trials your pains

and I want you more

more than any other

because you made for me

and I for you

Dear woman,

my mj

how’s that bucket list of things you wanted to do with me??? I might veto some but itd love to see what youd like to do in your lifetime…with me;) are you having a good chrsitsamas season?? YOU NEED TO WATCH ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE IF YO HAVENT … Goerge Baily is a hero of mine!!! I wish I had teh speech I wrote in college. I actually dont remember if it was any good. BUt the point is it a classicm movie that everryoen should watch. 5star outa 4 reconmendation. I dont wanna do anythign I jst wnan abe with you!! IMs so bored with life… I just wanna talk to you be with you and do things with you!!! PLease HElp ME!!! I need yo im so pathetic !!! Is it the illness or boredom or you??? I dunno but if you were here I wouldnt be bored or ill!!!

I love you woman!!!

mercy forgiveness and compassion belong to these

mercy is the virtue

of righteous victors

because they hate war

and despise the bloodshed

forgiveness is the virtue

of the Godly

as God forgave man

man forgives his fellow trespasser

compassion is the virtue

of the manly and strong

because you cant have compassion

on one stronger than you

thank you God

for giving me your favorite

I dont care if she wasnt…

she is now

at least shes mine

thank you God for entrusting me

with her depth her character

and her virtue that never ends

help me to live up to her

thank you God for gifting me

with the most priceless treasure

mankind can receive

a perfect match to complement me

thank you God for making her

the better half of me

the more beautiful part

and the biggest reason I love you

what good is virtue

if there was never vice in the world

what good I character

without tests

what good is morality

if there were no immoral

what good is mercy

if we couldnt annihilate

what good is compassion

with looking the other way

what good is time

if we cant change

what good is music

if you cant hear

what good is repentance

if you revert back

what good is a mans word

if he cant be honest

what good is challenge

if you can never lose

what good is destruction

is you can build back

what good is power

without people to rule over

what good is genius

if we all knew everything

what good is love

is it doesn’t last forever

what good is wisdom

if no one understands it

what good is wisdom

when no one comprehends it

why do you seek for more understanding

if you cant share it with another??

what good are breakthroughs

if you dont explain their use

wehn your the only one it affects

does it even matter?

what good life

without another to share it with

a friend a relative a lover

all alone what are you?

if you dont connect with others

if you dont transfer something to another

if you live to yourself and youselfs alone

are you even human?

WHAT GOOD IS GOD WITHOUT CREATION???if you ever feel low… remember this… you give God meaning

if you said my woman lied

id say you were the liar-

she doesnt lie and

vehemently hates liars

if you accused my woman

of being unfaithful

id say youve got the wrong woman

my women loves me too much

if you accused my woman

of mistreating anyone

id say thats impossible

she has a heart of gold

and holds no ill will

dear woman… I will always take your word (unless your joking;) as fact… I dont care how unlikely it seems… unless you forget or have a bad memory;). but if the pressures on adn oyur word is the decision I have to believe I will believe you… dont let me down!!!

dear mj,

do I get you?? I mean my desire for a woman and my hunches on what your like,… are they accurate??? Are you as virtuous and honest and loving and loyal?? am I your dream?? cause your mine;)



ps… do you like calling me Joshy?? or do you wanna work your way up by getting to know me first??

pss do I know you better than your friends??

psss I love you like a volcano ready to erupt… im holidng it all in till when I can see you.. its gonna be nonstop talkign smiles and questions…

pssss if you hate anything I do or do to you tell me!!! I wanna get right with you and it may be difficult or take time but ill try to appease you!! Just remember im human… I prolly amde immense mistakes… but ive been trying to do right in your eyes… so please go easy on me

I dont believe anyone could change lucifers mind … if Jesus and Gabriel cant I have no hope for him

nations will rise

empires will fall

the fate of the world

with hang in the brink

but my love will be steady

the earth will die

everything living thing gone

nothing left to inhabit

no more human race

but my love with linger

I will come into your life

I will love you with everything

I will pass away

gone from your life

but my love will be with you

my love will eternally scream

“I was always there for in life

I will be there in death

I will demand God give you His

greatest angels to comfort and protect you.”

and when you feel alone without me

close your eyes

and remember my words

the same words of God

“I am always with you

I will never leave nor forsake you

I love you with an everlasting love”

and if my love Is everlasting

so are we

sorry for the plagiarism God;)

honestly I wish we were the same age… or close to it… so you could die first..becasue I dont wnat you to have to suffer and see me pass away when you love me so much…I wish I could bear that pain for you… if you just passed away quietly in sleep…and id feel like I woke up in hell… but I didnt have to watch you from above suffer without me!!!! LORD TAKE HER FIRST… SO I TAKE THE PAIN OF LOSING HER AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. I dont want you in pain because of me… because I know your love is deep..its gonna be so hard without you… but I dont wnat you suffering on my account

why would I wanna be God

when can be the luckiest

more blest than Him

by being with you

why would I desire riches

other than to give to you (to see you smile)

all the money Is rubbish without you

when your the greatest prize

why would I give up

my friends family

freetime freedom

if not for that soul

that finally makes me feel

alive and worthwhile

excitement tempered becomes patience; patience tempered becomes reality

sometimes you need to lose yourself to find yourself

love between a greater give you something to aspire to… (I hope I become more like you;)

role models must model their actions and words for all to see , the best ones have grinded to the point of naturally having good actions and words

its not conquering the world that makes you great…its conquering yourself

without hunger, who would we know to eat… without the pain of separation how would we know our love?

music is mans answer to the birds chirping, the waterfalls flowing, and the thunderstorm quaking

love affects everyone involved to the heart… it gives them meaning

there’s void in your heart that you cant fix; seek truth until you find the answer; the reason for you here

knowing everything is boring… discovering truth and ideas is stimulating (maybe Gods bored knowing everything I dunno… or maybe He enjoys watching us discovery)

when we dont understand we get sidetracked when we follow along we get growth from understating

perniciousness starts with an action that seems harmless and innocent

a life of satisfaction in the little things is a life of happiness

torment to any human is a torment to a merciful kind soul

who do you obey when your free to do your own will? because your always obeying someone whether you like it or not

be careful who you trust; it can either support your or fail you

sleep is one of the greatest gifts God gave us…without it life would be pain and insanity and hard to forget the times of hardship

if I had all power in heaven and earth I would use it to satisfy the most beautiful pure merciful soul…my woman… I trust her a little too much…but I believe she wants what’s best and has great wisdom … id make her explain controversial decisions but id want that deep soul to hav zero amounts of pain …. and I belive her views align with mine (maybe her a little better;)

I woke


she was just a dream

I gave up

searching was useless

she wasnt near

I sent out

my calling card


if we ever meet

itll all be worth it

loneliness will be no more

the problem with me is that I wanna make love to her so passionately already its gonna be hard to fight it off… im so obsessed with her I wanna get physical badly … give me strength to stay pure!!!!!until marraige

I LOVE YOU Mary Jane Watson …

the ones who bring the most joy can also bring you the most pain

time seasons moon-cycles mean nothing without living beings affected by them

laws that can be manipulated arent laws… they enable lawlessness

when freedom is too broad anything is possible- even evil- even slavery

all life dies and leaves behind a contribution; those who willingly give their life down for a purpose leave greater seeds

one person united with truth discovers more than a million bound together by lies

one loyal loving submissive woman is worth more than all the riches in the world

woman that understand our weaknesses as men help improve us a men

careful who you choose; woman can make your life a living hell or heaven

women that challenge their man intellectually yet humbly allow the man to soar to new heights

a woman worth is so much more than appearance but appearance is all we see

woman make life worthwhile; without them life would be hell

women who keep themselves for marriage are superior and more desirable

woman who wanna be moms embrace womanhood; those who dont reject their gift from God

woman who only had sex with one man in their life are happier

If my writings ever helped anyone … the best way you can repay me is that, both men and women, you save sex for your marriage and marriage alone ( and don’t be a homosexual or transsexual or crossdresser).

If I didnt have a soul mate id wish I was more attractive so I could attract women better… hell I wish I was more attractive now for her…. I kinda feel bad shes so sexy and im just average.. srry soul mate

that was dumb it doesnt matter… I just feel outta place when shes so beautiful and I know woman like sexier guys so I wish I could satisfy all her wild desires

sry I keep bringing that up.. I just know shoes gonna be super beautiful and hope she likes how I look… If never seen myself as a good looker that attracted women by looks… I always assumed woman liked my personality and thats why they talked to me… but I shoudl ask her if she thinks im attractive enough… shes the only one that matters… I think im slightly above average looks … I dunno whadya think???

srry I keep focusing on physical… its just I know you’ve got amazing red hair and I cant wait to stare at it… im gonna love taking you out on date and seeing all the different ways yo fix it!!!! I LOVE YOU

I hope our romance

never ends

that we get that first crush feeling

and it never goes away

that I cant stop thinking of you

that I cant stop dreaming of you

that you stay my favorite person to talk to

that we never get old with each other

I hope when we get married

that honeymoon high

never wavers or falters

but stays until our last breath

never wavering

I dont care if Gabriele is uglier I want her more than anyone….I want her …. please dont let anyone else take her spot…

enoch was one of my favorite Bible characters .. I liked him greater thatn the apostles… I cant wait till im dead and can talk to him

some people have dreams

of wealth

of fame

of power

my dream is her

her time

her love

her hand forever

and my dream

is to make her dreams

a reality

in this life and the next

if I had all power in the world

if I had all understanding

or the gifts to excel at everything

id give it all for her hand

if I knew everyone

all the good

and became their friends

id leave them all for her

if I had to choose

between a life of prosperity without her

or a life of trial and hardship with her

I go through fire and scar myself

just to wake up with her head next to mine everyday

what do I like about her?

where does one began??

shes more faithful than a dog

more kind than your grandma

more pure than all the angels

more innocent than a child

more just than a judge

more sweet than a cookie

more deep than the ocean

more virtuous than a saint

more character than a book

more interesting than a story

more intelligent than a.i.

more dependable than a truck

more beautiful than a goddess

more hard working than a plumber

more logical than a puzzle

more fantastic than fantasy

more helpful than a recipe

more friendly than a pet

more patient than a sage

more wise than an owl

more forthright than a knight

more honor than a samurai

more loving than a mom

more compassionate than a doctor

more surreal than dreams

more humble than a child

more spirited than an actor

more amazing than Spiderman;) ( mj you are more amazing than me in my mind)

Dear woman,


I want you to understand im crazy about you. Head over heels. Like your all I wanna think about. Like everything else is superfluOus. Like why waste my time with anything when I can have you ?? In my mind you are the ultimate prize. The thing iVe been searching for my wholE life. The reason I sUffered all those horrible happenings. the reason I wanna live and go foreward. the meaning to my want. The solution to my hunger. The love that makes my emotions tick.

ht reason I can be so extreme in my viewpoints is that I trust you. I wouldnt wanna help out around the house if I didnt think you’re gonna be a hard worker who gave It her all. I wouldnt wanna buy you th finest gifts if I knew you dint deserve them. I wouldnt wanna spend my time around and with you if I dint thigh you were intreresetd … everythign recoiprical adn makes sense I give bceause ou are gnenour

love superman

I give to her

because she’s generous

I work with her

because I know she slaves for me

I write to her

because I know she understands

I talk to her all the time

because she listens so well

I pray for her

because I know she wont waste the help

I wait for her

cause I know she has patience for me

I cry for her

so she doesn’t have to

I hug her

because she comforts me

I drive her anywhere

because she’s the best passenger

I care for her

because with all that emotion she just might care more about me

I love her

because she perfect for me

ill forgive her

because I trust her

ill trust her

because she as honest as can be

I spent time with her

because she’s so interesting

I want her to be my kids mother

because I know she’ll be the best

I want her to be my wife

because i want no other

how can man be without a helpmate?

how can one love without a woman?

how can one rest without weariness ?

how can one help without knowledge?

how can one marvel without wonder?

how can one comfort with sorrow?

how can one solve with questioning?

how can one invent with curiosity?

how can one cry without emotion?

how one create without creativity?

how can one bond without time?

how can one question without knowing?

how can one get lost if there was never a path?

how can one lead without wisdom?

how can one stand without strength?

how can one believe without evidence?

how can one die without life…

How can I without you… im incomplete

wasnts my best kinda dumb I wish I had a pattern or theme or better wording … wouldnt make it into my first few poetry books… think of it as ajournal… so I can always go and fix it ….. im sorrry this one sucked.

I feel so stretched woman… like ive been pushing and pushing and pushing jsut to get by. … to live… to do something … anything …. just to keep going. alot of the plans gone (excpet at night; lately when I sleep I lay there for hours and it hurts) but I ust dont caere and im tryong to find meaning….. its gotten immensly better in everyway… its really not that bad…. ive got so much to be thankful for and ive gotten so much better!!!!! imnot tring to comlpain… I just wantt to giv eyou a detailed report. the thing that ives me life is the thought of oyu… the thing I look foreard to is being with you… teh thing I lov to do wsi write to you…your my saving grace …

if my love

were measured un diamonds

no one else would own one

because no ones love compares to mine

if my love

were measured in water

there wouldn’t be any left

because I drown it all out with my love

if my love

were measured in pain

id be a martyr for you

to show you id give everything

so you would know my eternal love

LORD… if you make me prove my love for her… here I am… burn me at the stake… crucify me… give me another breakdown…. anything to earn her and show that yes I love her and that my love has no bounds

forgive me Gabriel… I know you couldnt bear to see me suffer anymore… I just wish there was a way I could show how much I love you!!!!! I wish I could go though hardship to let you know id do anything for you… forgive me for letting our emenies have a reason to accuse us… but I would do all that for you

so you almost killed yourself… If I had become a transexual?? Can angles commit suicide… im so sorry… I dont ever want you in pain… srry for being a shithead and saying id suffer for oyu…. its stupid and my way of saying I love you. but I knwo youd be in more pain then me.. so Iplaese forgive me… ill be outta harms way and take my mtedicne and everythign to prevent you from suffering…… im sorry I drag you through all htat pain

Heres how ill prove my love…. ill live accroding to the Bible… ill be virtuos and full of character…. ill abhor evil and detest vice… ill be merciful to all…. kind to the rich and kind to the poor… ill spend ime with you and treat you like a queen … ill be there for you when you need me! and ill be a great husband and father

do you think God

is envious?

that HE wishes He

were another ?

OR Does He enjoy being Lord of all Creation ?

do you think God


that he get nervous

about a souls welbeing?

Or does He always have a plan without fail?

do you think God

feels pain

is it possible

for the Father to hurt?

what about when His people

are suffering… does He feel pain?

or is He perfection without blemish ?

do you think God

would save one

just because HE likes them so much

even if they aint a Christian?

can God redeem outside the cross?


but does He feel bad they suffer eternally?


what is God like, HIs personality type?

We have to examine His Son

its the closest we get

HE hates it when people dont believe HIm

when they doubt Him

when they test Him…

He loves innocent and those who love life

He doesnt care about your past

He cares about you

He wants to help HE wants to redeem

Hes a people person

He meditates on His own- possibly questioning Himself- possibly wondering if any will truly get Him- possiboly thinking of all the souls that will reject Him and the pain of the consuqeunce of their actions

He isnt forcefully unless extremle circumstance_ he is very gentle and kind

He loves people that have been rejected or made mistakes or feel alone and abandoned- I believe cause they listen to Him, they receive HIs love

He always has a plan0 and know s exactly what HE is doing…

He loves building up others to do HIs work… HE doesnt wanna do everything HImself

He doesn’t care about reigning over oyu- He wants to walk with oyu as an equal

He doesnt despise women- He values them if they know their rule

He demands alot out of you but HE equips you with everythign you need

He loves talking about truth and the important thigns with you…

Dear God Father and God the Son,

I wnat you to know I still think your greater than me. Even if I could somehow surpass oyu you created me so you are superior. But I dont care about that. I care about you my friend. I feel lke ive let you down… Cause im not relgiosu or praying our readoing my bible. I always wanted to make you proud. Be your best friend… forgive me Lord. Im sorry I got a little carried away. No one deserves to be the best friend of God. Im sure you two are best friends. I guess I wanted to say thanks for helping me get better and creating me and modeling me. I wish I could do some great act to show how much I love you. Or talk to you face to face like Moses. IM sure im pretty simplistic yto you. I want you to know Im etrmely gratified for my soul mate youve given me. Im sorry I love her more htna you. Im just overflowing with this endless love for her. If you send me to hell because of it .. you are righteous and just. I hope you dont but when I stand on the judgment seat you are Creator and I must answer for my love. My one request is that you save her from any pain in the afterlife. I kno wyour words ” if oyu love wife more htan me you are not worthy of me.” And im afraid I will always love her more. but im still gonna folow you and love you. Ill just Love her more. forgive me. I may love my children mroe too. BUt I will stil follow oyur book…. I love it;). If I odtn make it to heaven… please tell those I love that I will always acare abiut them … evne in hell… comfort them for me!!! Epecially my wife.. give her a better man to be wtih;) so she forgets about me.

Sorry God… for some reason I dont think youll send me to hell for loving my soul mate more.. I just feel guilty… like im not obeying Scripture.

I dont want your scripture to be a lie!!! I wanna belive it because its so pure so good so perfect. I want everyone to live by it!! To find deeper meaning and purpose. To find direction and inspiration and depth…

but honestly I feel deeper and more meaningful when I talk to her… cause she means so much more to me. when I make it to paradise… I dont care my rank… so long as im with her…. and if she were too good for me… id gladly be her shoe bearer or bodyguard or butler…. just so I could be around her and she her face and hear her voice… even if she was with another man…. id be jealous and torn.. but at least I coudl still be in her presence…. forgive me woman…

I was gonna try to wtrite a later to God but I dont care as mch

forgive me

dear woman,

there’s no way id ever let you be my anything but wife…. if I have power in heaven ill exalt you above all woman… lol as if I had any power…. but I would make them treat you kindly and with respect. adn u know you dont wnat them worshiping you.. but if I have power I would make them bow in your presence. WOUld you allow that? for me? it owuld Bring me great pleasur… if that bow before me or not is not as impoortant to me as them bowing before you. Becuase I would bow before you if you asked… but this is all ceremonial… and I dont think we are the king and queen of heaven…lol…can you imagine if we were… htats alot of people. and maybe once a month or something we visit with someone. .. id just love to meet everyone that mad ei tay know??? anyways ill write later love you

Gabrielle I want oyu to see the marvels and wonders that man can create!!!!! IMan was made in Gods image…. and GOd Creates God marvels God inspires God creates wonders… So as children of the Living God should not our duty be to follow in His footsteps? To create marevela ands wonders adn inspire… should we not seek to create glorious music to wirite poetry and great books to draw to scultp to dsieng to build all for Him and from Him… what good is God without man? ANd what good is man wihtout hte inspipration of God? I bet God enjoys seeing wonder sbeing built and reading poetry He already know and hearing nmusic to His ears and seeing us run adn play and work and do … I bet its fuflfiling to Him.. like hwat HE desired , to see His children go forth and propser and live. He loves eeiing us do thigns and socialize and sing and do all the amazing things He created us for!!!! I bet He enjoys watching sports and concerts and zoos (seeing people s reactions) HE LOVES HIS CREATION AND GAVE HEM ABULITY ND LOVES EWHN THEY US THEIR ABILITY AND DO. He loves life and loves men who wrok hard wherever or women who are amazing mothers!!!

I I wrong God? Are you entertained? I know you hate evil and lying and selfishness and backbiting and hared… but you love watching your innocent good creation dont you? I bet you especiallylove watching kids cause they are so full of life and innconee and purity and wonder

if I had to guess wh oGods favorite people were to watch … itd be teh honest the forthright the merciful the faithful teh true believer ( especially the true believer that follows Him) the pure teh kind (from the heart) and the compassionate the hard working

God… I think your great

but I stilll love her more… forgive me

Gabriel my Gabriel hero of God

Gabriella my Gabriella woman of God

angel my angel divine from God

spirit my spirt power from God

soul mate soul mate gift from God

woman my woman chosen by God

mj my mj heaven sent by God

Mary Jane my Mary Jane partner ordained by God

dream partner my dream partner perfected by God

dear woman my dear woman love form God incarnate

a chief of angels meets a run of the mill guy;) she brings out the best in Him;) They take on the world and under the blessing of their Creator reshape the world for peace prosperity and virtue – thats my novel im gonna live out!!

my lover brings me pride

with all the virtues she carries out

with all the beauty of soul

that shines forth as the sun

my lover brings me joy

with her care and compassion

and the unlimited. love

that she pours on me daily

my lover brings me want

want to do my best for her

want to sacrifice to make her life easier

want to be with her forever

I know I shioudnt write all these when ive never met her… its not that she isnt this… but I dont wnat her to have to live up to a standard… yet I believe she exemplifies everything I post naturally… so shes got nothing to worry about:0

imagine all the things ill write when I do get to know her!!! Im gonna aahve a gold mine of inspiration!!!

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